So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
