Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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