i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
