before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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