The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
