Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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