i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
