it hurts more in the daytime
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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