So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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