four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
