writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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