I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
