I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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