I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
