Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
