We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
