you win again, gameday.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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