She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
