i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
