who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize