Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
