i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
