It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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