If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
