does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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