I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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