Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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