My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
