it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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