no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize