I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
