Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
