I wish I could punch you in the face.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
