I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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