What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
