I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize