I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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