New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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