WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Randomize
