Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
