he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
