He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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