Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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