Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
