In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
