Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
