im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
