he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize