dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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