he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
