I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
