1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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