Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Is it penis luge time yet?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
