So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
