so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
