You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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