when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
