I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Duck Duck Cougar?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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