ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
