It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
