who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
