my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
